Too Grown-Up

The words of a 1st-grader who is always smart and sometimes smart with his words:

“Mom, that doesn’t satisfy me”

“Of course I can mom, look at these guns” (said while flexing his skinny biceps)

“Tyler, I’m going to kick your butt” (word: “butt” restricted from vocabulary on 8/9/08)

“Dad that scared the crap out of me” (word: “crap” restricted from vocabulary on 8/26/08)

“That really sucks, huh Dad” (word: “sucks” restricted from vocabulary on 8/26/08)

“If you don’t let me play outside I’m going to fight with Carly”

“I’m full of my food, but I’m still hungry for ice-cream”

“That was awesome dude” (Don’t you think Travis looks like his dad in that picture? And sounds like him too?)

“I did hit Carly but it was an accident, my arm just hit into her all by itself… I’m serious” (said with serious and convincing expression)

“I don’t know how it got there; someone must have put it in my pocket”

When asked by Dad if he had any homework, Travis responded, “No, why would you ask me that?”

Of course, after saying anything that produces an unenthusiastic reaction from me, Travis knows just what to do- smile his charming smile with those adorable dimples and big blue eyes. He defiantly has me wrapped around his finger!

More Important Than Money

1. Truth

I know where I came from, I know why I’m here, and I know where I’m going. “Let us lie low in the Lord's power, and learn that truth alone makes rich and great”. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

2. Family

Mom taught me that “blood is thicker than water”. I would do or sacrifice anything for family- my children are most ardently my treasure.

3. Health

Who wouldn’t give any amount of money for good health?

4. Happiness

For me, true happiness comes when I am doing all that REALLY matters- and none of those things have much to do with money.

5. Security

Financial security is secondary to being free from danger and injury, from anxiety and fear.

6. Character

I desire a good name more than great riches- I value integrity over affluence. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

7. Talent

We relinquish our resources to cultivate our talents, because everyone desires to be good at something. Through the years I (or my parents) have paid for dance lessons, guitar, snowboarding, education, etc.

8. Knowledge

It is said that “knowledge is power”. Do you know that if a father has a college degree there is a high probability his sons will graduate from college, conversely, if a mother has a college degree it is expected that ALL of her children will graduate from college? I am fortunate to have had the opportunity to attain a degree and desire still to further my education.

9. Wisdom

I believe a wise person can be identified by their ability to handle money. Certainly wisdom can be measured by one’s attitude towards money, the way it is acquired, and how it is used.

10. Wealth

Too many put wealth at the top of their list and spend their lives trying to “keep up with the Jones”. I place wealth tenth, and I include it only because having sufficient definitely helps me sleep better at night. For so long we have lived with so little that I have had opportunity to compare our standard of living with that of the middle class and the rich. Those who are considered more fortunate often interchange the words “I want” with “I need”. I say to them, “no you do not NEED new floors, new furniture, new clothes, a second car, a vacation, or even separate rooms for your children- you WANT those things”. At one point or another I have lived without all those comforts and survived.

I once wore the same pair of Levis for nearly four years (in a ten year span neither I nor Eric have had more than one pair at a time). I wore the same black skirt to church every Sunday for three years. My children’s dresser drawers do not shut. We have no couch. One winter I put my kids to bed in their snow-clothes for two straight nights because we could not afford to pay our heating bill. Most of our marriage we operated with only one car- I cannot tell you how severe my “cabin fever” has been at times. I do not take for granted that presently a vehicle is parked in my driveway most days for my own particular use! I remember many times going without milk, or bread, or other necessities for days or weeks at a time. With a fifteen-month-old I once went six days without milk.

Have you ever had to really search for spare change in your couch cushions? I have more times than I care to remember. Have you ever had to tell your child they cannot attend a birthday party because you are unable to afford a gift? I have and I cried all night over it. Have you ever had to send your child to church in tennis shoes and pants that are too short? I told my son, “Heavenly Father expects you to wear your best, and this is the best you’ve got”- then I cried some more that night. Have you ever had to stay at home for two solid weeks (driving only on a need-to basis) because $27 is all you have left until payday? If you cannot answer yes to any of these questions, believe it or not, I feel sorry for you, because you will never truly appreciate a dollar like I do.

If those who worked the hardest made the most money, certainly my mom and mother-in-law would be the “Donald Trump’s” of the world, and I dare say Eric and I would be exceedingly well off as well. I have been employed all but one year since the age of sixteen and Eric works so diligently at his job (sometimes 80+ hours a week). It is certainly frustrating to watch others work half as much and make three times more- but like the old adage says, “life is not fair”. Fortunately our ship will be anchoring soon; Eric’s hard work will reap some big rewards. I hope to always spend wisely, and never foolishly and lavishly waste money like I see so many others do. I hope to never allow wealth to creep higher up on my list, maintaining a proper perspective on the more important things in life!

Musically Predisposed

I’ve played five different musical instruments: piano, ukulele, clarinet, saxophone, and guitar. I am most proficient on the guitar (though certainly not a pro) and still play in my spare time. Certainly I would love to see one or more of my children become proficient in some area of music.

Carly is currently my piano player and faithfully practices every day.

Tyler wants so much to play the guitar and loves to mess around on mine. If he remains persistent and can master the chords and notes I have taught him thus far, I just might consider lessons.

I come from a very musical family. Grandma Bruce is an amazing operatic singer who turned down the opera for marriage. Grandpa Murdock played both the clarinet and saxophone in a Jazz Band. Great-Uncle Dean played the piano in Vegas for many famous musicians. Uncle Bill won ‘Battle of the Bands’; he sings and plays the guitar. Several relatives have sung in the Tabernacle Choir. Uncle Kent sang in the Weber State Choir. My Grandpa Hep played the trumpet. There are quite a few concert pianists on my mom’s side. Dad and Amy have that coveted play-by-ear ability on the piano and guitar. Heidi has a beautiful voice and she and Jason are often sought after to sing in church. All of my family enjoys music- of course no one loves it more than my mom, the world’s most devoted music-lover!

Perhaps those musical genes will emerge in one way or another within my own immediate family!

I Love My Ty-Man

(My favorite snapshot of Tyler- October 8, 2005)

Tyler is the sweetest boy with a heart of gold- always performing little kind acts for his family and thinking of others. He loves babies and toddlers and takes good care of Emily. Tyler is very smart, especially with geography- I ask him for directions if I become lost, once Tyler has been somewhere he can always find his way back. Some of Tyler’s interests include the weather- he checks the forecast several times a day. He also pays very close attention to the time and likes it best when things remain on schedule. Tyler can name the make and model of every car on the road. He knows more about science than the average kids his age and is a phenomenal speller. Although he loves playing with friends and accepts everyone no-matter their differences, Tyler prefers individual sports such as snowboarding, golfing, biking, and skateboarding. His least favorite things include: dentists, doctors, and thunderstorms. Tyler is a very special boy and I love him so much!

Tyler was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome last year (2007).

What Is It?

Asperger's syndrome is a developmental disorder that affects a child's ability to socialize and communicate effectively with others. Children with Asperger's syndrome typically exhibit social awkwardness and an all-absorbing interest in specific topics.

Doctors group Asperger's syndrome with four other conditions that are called autistic spectrum disorders or pervasive developmental disorders. These disorders all involve problems with social skills and communication. Asperger's syndrome is generally thought to be at the milder end of this spectrum.

Conservative estimates indicate that two out of every 10,000 children have Asperger's, and boys are three to four times as likely as girls to have the disorder. While there is no cure for Asperger's syndrome, treatment can help children learn how to interact more successfully with their peers.

Symptoms:

• Engaging in one-sided, long-winded conversations, without noticing if the listener is listening or trying to change the subject

• Displaying unusual nonverbal communication, such as lack of eye contact, few facial expressions, or awkward body postures and gestures
• Showing an intense obsession with one or two specific, narrow subjects, such as baseball statistics, train schedules, weather, or snakes
• Appearing not to understand, empathize with, or be sensitive to others' feelings
• Having a hard time "reading" other people or understanding humor
• Speaking in a voice that is monotonous, rigid, or unusually fast
• Moving clumsily, with poor coordination
• Having an odd posture or a rigid gait

Curly Carly

Carly Loves Her Cousins

When the cousins come for a visit it means activity-packed days and sleepovers at grandma’s house. Recently Sammie, Kalia, Susie, and Nicole have spent time in Utah.

A Shout in the Dark

Tyler is an avid sleep-walker and sleep-talker. He runs marathons in his sleep, carries on extensive conversations, roams aimlessly around the house moaning and groaning, and once or twice has mistaken the bathroom garbage can for the toilet. If I were not such a light sleeper he would wander the remainder of the night in this delusional state. The bigger and stronger he becomes the more energy I exert when guiding him back to his bed.

Recently I heard Tyler shout in his sleep, “Emily, Emily, don’t go” (repeated twice). He sounded very concerned. I got up and walked quickly into his room to make certain he was all right. I gently shook him by the shoulder and called him by name. He sat up and looked around, though his eyes were blank, oblivious to me or his surroundings. I laid his head back down on the pillow and watched him drift peacefully back to sleep.

First Day of 1st, 4th, & 5th Grade

Lost Locks

I have two stories to tell- one good and one bad:

Carly has been asking for a short haircut for more than a year. Finally I thought, “She is not demanding a blue flat-top, I should let her express herself the way she wants- it is her hair!”

My mom and Heidi decided to attempt an A-line cut. I trusted them completely- they are both artists and perfectionists, with eyes for detail and steady hands.

They seemed a little concerned after the first few cuts. I am sure the words “What have we done!” were going through their heads.

It turned out beautifully- she looks so grown-up and absolutely gorgeous!

The other day Emily pulled out the elastic around her ponytail. With it came a small glob of hair. She now has a nickel-size bald spot on the top of her head. She will be sporting a comb-over for awhile- no more adorable ponytails and pigtails.

An Educational Adventure

Survey (August 22-24) - What is your dream vacation?

(A) A romantic Hawaiian getaway – 30%
(B) Backpacking through Europe – 0%
(C) Cruise to the Caribbean – 20%
(D) Disneyworld with the kids – 20%
(E) Exploring ancient Mayan ruins – 30%

30% of you agreed with me- exploring ancient Mayan ruins would be the ultimate type of getaway. However, the ruins I would most like to explore are located in Peru- Machu Picchu. My dad served his mission in Peru. That would be my ultimate dream vacation! Nevertheless, all five escapes sound wonderful to me.

Catch of the Day

Carly, Grandma Bruce, and Goodies (July 6th, 2008)

My grandma loves trout and Carly loves to catch them (and name them too).

Pool Party

The cardiology office hosted a party for all employees and their families and thought to include us. Eric is not an employee, though with five ongoing studies within their office he works alongside the doctors and staff every day. A fabulous dutch oven catering company provided the food- the best pork I’ve ever tasted! The kids had a blast playing in the pool and on the trampoline.

Goodbye Summer

Yesterday was back-to-school-night. Today my thoughts are occupied with bus schedules, school supplies, and new teachers. In a few days we will exchange long summer evenings for homework and earlier bedtimes. Goodbye summer- until next year!

(Notice my mom’s eye- courtesy of Emily!)

Boy Shorts

The other night as I was stretching out for our jog I looked enviously at Eric’s basketball shorts. My long sweatpants are great for winter but not in mid-August. At that moment I thought about the possibility of wearing Tyler’s basketball shorts. I dashed upstairs to give them a try- a perfect fit. Wow… is he really that big? Soon he will be passing me up. Crazy!

Sleepy Time

Napping with “baba” & baby

Cinderella

Carly is so helpful and responsible that sometimes I take advantage of her willingness to lend me a hand. I know that when I ask her to help me with something she will do it the right way and when I ask. Unfortunately that is not something I can expect from the boys and therefore I tend to rely on her more. To make up for her extra efforts I find ways to reward Carly- things I only do for her. These fun surprises and outings have been dubbed by Carly as our “girl’s time”. What a special daughter I have!

All Music All The Time

A few years ago for Christmas Uncle B gave Tyler a truck and trailer, with a boat that just recently fell to pieces. Both boys have played with this toy more than any other. Travis has an amazing attention span when occupied with playthings. He generates all sorts of chatter and battle sounds. However this rig is all that really ever sparked true imaginative play from Tyler. He would back up the truck and launch the boat as though he were Grandpa Hep with the Malibu. Now this mini F150, which used to exclaim “All music all the time” at the push of a button, is falling apart.

I have a great abhorrence for junk. Unless it has a working purpose or excessive sentimental value I throw it out. If clothing has not been worn that year, if a toy is broken or missing a piece, if it is something I can do without- I toss it! I detest useless stuff. Every April and October I de-junk my house, sending bagfuls to the DI or dump (43 large black garbage sacks this year). Getting rid of something is more enjoyable than buying something new. However, this old truck is worn out and I am having difficulty letting it go. Maybe when the rest of the wheels fall off, it will be easier to separate the associated memories!

I Need Order

One year ago I was adjusting to three kids in school, a new baby, working part-time, helping Eric with his degree, and a demanding church calling. I looked anxiously forward to this summer, desperate for a break. I have enjoyed the time off work; it gave me occasion to accustom myself to the demands of having four children. I welcomed the vacation from intense schedules, homework, choreography, and other school year responsibilities. This summer golf, piano, scouts, and achievement days were the only commitments I calendared, contrary to our prior routine of one-after-another appointments. Soon the kids go back to school and I am anxious again for structure. I admit it… I am an itinerary freak! Lists and calendars accompany every aspect of my home and work life and without them I seem to function less favorably. I may become occasionally frazzled and worn out, yet the more I have on my plate the more I accomplish and the better I feel about myself.

What can you do during the day with four busy kids at home? I certainly have had no desire to haul them around town, besides I have never been the window-shopping type of girl; in fact, believe-it-or-not I frequent the mall only a handful of times a year. Unless I have something specific to buy or excessive spending cash I detest shopping. I would rather read a book, work on one of many endless projects, organize something in my house, or spend time outdoors. However, these past few months I feel as though I have done very little, particularly anything useful or worthwhile. Instead my summer days have been lost in four times the housework, neighborhood children, club penguin, blogging, and board games when we are… well… board (Memory, Cranium, Apples to Apples, & Go Fish). That is something I hope before long to remedy. I have a long list of goals I plan to carry out this year. I am counting the days until I have one-quarter the household clutter from 8am-4pm five days a week.

Nonstop weekdays, work, appointments, and fifth grade math… bring it on… I AM READY!

Water-Logged

Last week our family spent the day at lagoon-a-beach. I have no pictures to commemorate the day but our kids had such a great time that I hope to never forget that moment in time. Here are seven hours of highlights: Travis and I raced down some of the enclosed slides and he won every time! Emily loves the water and Eric and I took turns floating with her around the lazy river. We all splashed and collided down the tube slide over and over again- Eric and Tyler’s favorite! Carly spent most of her time swimming in the main pool- she is defiantly the biggest fish in our family. Of course I was the only one to brave the straight down drop. Next year when Travis is old enough I’ll have a companion willing to endure the “scary ones”.

Cabin by the Lake

“We are told to let our light shine… lighthouses don’t fire cannons to call attention to their shinning- they just shine.”

--Dwight L. Moody

On Saturday morning Eric’s grandmother passed away. Throughout our marriage Eric and I have sought for opportunities to visit his grandparents and our stays in Oregon have always been incredible. Such a beautiful place- tall, dense forests stretching endlessly throughout the state, a mild climate, a rugged Pacific coastline, and glaciated Cascade volcanoes- it is absolutely breathtaking! I’ve had so many pleasant memories in Oregon. As a little girl I was fascinated by lighthouses and Eric and I have toured several along the coast. My favorite is Cape Meares, located just south of Tillamook Bay. Other favorite Oregon memories include exploring the tide pools, hiking around a peninsula with Uncle Walt, discovering forest trails, walking the beach, and dinning at my two favorite restaurants: Inn at Spanish Head and Mo’s Seafood Restaurant.

Our most memorable visit together was our honeymoon. Eric and I stayed in the cabin behind his grandparent’s home. The old wood cabin had been renovated by Grandpa Fordyce and had a distinct smell of cedar and varnish. It consisted of a narrow kitchenette and bathroom and slightly larger living area. In the front room, across from a small sofa, grandpa’s fly-rods hung above the fireplace mantel, self-constructed from pre-World War II bamboo. We slept on a double wall-bed with an electric blanket to ward off the evening October chill. The back door opened onto a wooden dock and beyond that a picturesque lake. Each morning the water surrounding the dock was thick with fog and lily pad cover and a family of ducks swam the perimeter. Paddleboats, canoes, fisherman, and grandpa’s loathed water-skiers decorated the lake frequently, yet somehow the atmosphere always felt placid and tranquil. The inhabitants surrounding this lake appeared to go about their day at a more relaxing pace. Here it was so easy to forget the hustle and bustle of everyday life making my experiences in Lincoln City unforgettable.

Grandma and grandpa wined and dined us newlyweds and our time spent with them constitutes our earliest memories of marriage. We were taken to fancy restaurants, toured the city in their Lincoln Town Car, and went shopping with grandma. Somehow we returned home with twice the luggage we started with. I will forever remember the sandwiches grandma would make for us, always on bread purchased that day. She loved having fresh fruit in the kitchen, especially berries. Once Aunt Laura made us a fresh marionberry pie, it was heavenly! Grandma’s Italian characteristics were noticeable in the way she incessantly doted over grandpa and indulged her guests. She was forever concerned with making certain our visits were pleasant. Full of energy and always busying herself about the house and around town- that is the way I will remember her.

Grandpa is now a widower and though separation at any age would be difficult the two lived a long and wonderful life together. They watched their two daughters marry outstanding men and have children and grandchildren. Isn’t that what we all want in life? Grandpa is an amazing man; I have a very special place for him in my heart. I could listen to his witty stories and remarkable sense of humor all day. He is talented, patient, and kind. He is truly one of my most favorite people.

Saturday, as I was contemplating what a joyous homecoming it must be for grandma among all her loved ones that have gone before, I thought about my own homecoming and what it would be like. Who will I want to greet me after my passing? Surely I have multitudes of ancestors who are already preparing the way for me, and supposing I too live a long life I will certainly outlive many whom I now love dearly and will anticipate seeing again. I thought about Eric’s grandparents and I hope they too will be there to welcome me home!

Grandma Fordyce- you touched our lives and we love and miss you- someday we will see you again!

Kiddy-Land with Cousins

When Darkness Sets…

The Midnight Hour- like the ghouls in “Thriller” it is the time of night I come alive. I accomplish more around my house, read without interruption, and think my most creative thoughts.

My sister Heidi (a busy mother of three) said it best, “I find myself staying up late at night, regardless of how tired I might be- it’s the only quiet time I get!"

Music Lesson

Last month Eric and I drove to Flaming Gorge, our back seats packed to the ceiling with camping gear, the older three kids riding with grandma and grandpa, and Emily asleep. We were listening to music as loud as our factory stereo would allow (as a fourth child Emily sleeps through all types of noise). It felt a little like when we were dating, driving around in Eric’s white Toyota Celica, except that our music then sounded less distorted blaring from a super nice stereo (equip with remote).

The first thing that attracted me to Eric was his love of music, something, thanks to mom and dad, I love love love too! We dated in 1995, so naturally we were listening to bands like Pearl Jam, Cranberries, Candlebox, and Smashing Pumpkins (still some of our favorites). Of course throughout the years we have added significantly to our repertoire. Eric and I have similar tastes; however, we sometimes disagree. Eric loves punk- Blink182 and AFI. I am more alternative and have a much broader repertoire. Bands like Our Lady Peace, Snow Patrol, Radiohead, Incubus, and Counting Crows are my most preferred. Our greatest disparity is Van Halen, a band Eric enjoys with his brothers. I categorize them as undesirable, along with the Chili Peppers and everything country.

Eric and I enjoy concerts; Coldplay in November will be my fourteenth. My favorites have been Dave Mathews and Rob Thomas. Our first concert together was Live (the band).

Music will always play an important role in our marriage. As we drove from Utah to Wyoming I noticed how well we accommodated each other’s tastes. After listening to my new favorite song I commented on how much I enjoyed it. Eric’s response was, “I don’t like that one but I didn’t turn it because I knew you loved it”. Wow, has music helped teach us compromise? Thirteen years ago neither of us would have succumbed like that!

No, my dad is not a Beatles Impersonator!

An alternative ‘Cooking Delight’ aired this weekend. We assume dad’s guest appearance will broadcast next week. Tune in again Saturday at 4pm and Sunday at 2pm on KJZZ.

Finished!

Heidi and I arrived late Friday evening to the Barns and Noble Midnight (Breaking Dawn) Party. Weeks prior we reserved our copies and earlier that morning picked-up our wrist bands. Though excited, we wondered if the party would be predominantly high-schoolers; however amidst the thousands of party attendees we were surprisingly surrounded by all ages. We had a great time! News helicopters circled above and energized the crowd. Loud claps and cheers were heard each time the line inched forward. At 1am a rumor began circulating that Wal-Mart had several books but few customers. We took our chances and really lucked out- two copies at a significantly lower Wal-Mart price. I returned home an hour later and at noon the following day I had finished all 754 pages. It was a fantastically adventurous book- my favorite in the series.

Happy reading to all of you slow-pokes!